Nine days of travel chaos and grown-ups in Lycra
“Everyone knows I love to blow my own trumpet, so I’m delighted to announce that we’re officially the best bar in Harrogate.” …
August 12th, 2019
So then my special ones – how have you all been since my last hilarious and educative bloggy instalment?
I trust you’ve all been getting plenty of exercise, having your five a day, and staying below your recommended daily units of alcohol. No? OK well I won’t tell anyone if you haven’t – your secret is safe with me!
Speaking of my last blog – you had to be pretty quick to see that one didn’t you? I spend hours and hours sweating over a hot laptop, then I spend a few minutes writing a blog, only for the fun police to decide to take it down less than a day after it was published. What could I possibly have done to offend any potential readers? It must have been something pretty savage to upset somebody enough to have it permanently deleted. Yes I’m allowed to continue with my spectacular euphemisms on my radio adverts. Yes, I’m still allowed to sell a couple of thousand pints of ale every week in glasses with the ‘f’ word engraved on them – but apparently I’m not allowed to mention that we sold XX J*!$b$%bs to a trio of thoroughly decent blokes and that the resulting social media post went viral. Now although it does take quite a bit of my valuable time to write this blog, I do enjoy it – but if the current levels of censorship aren’t reduced to a less draconian level, then quite frankly I shan’t bother. It’s not as if I’m crazy enough to post a picture of some dirty pots & pans on here is it?!
So what’s new in the world of Mr Badger?
We’ve got another little trophy on our shelf, that’s what’s new. Those lovely people at Destination Harrogate organise the annual Hospitality & Tourism awards at a big posh do in the Royal Hall. The area’s finest exponents of food, drink and all things lovely are nominated in various categories and some lucky ones come away with a nice piece of glassware to show off about. Everyone knows I love to blow my own trumpet, so I’m delighted to announce that we’re officially the best bar in Harrogate. I love awards do’s. We all pretend that it’s achievement enough just to be nominated. We all pretend that it’s only a matter of opinion as to who actually wins, and we’ll have a lovely evening of eating and drinking regardless. We all dream of having our picture tattooed on Leona…
…sorry, completely lost my train of thought there, just had to pop out for a bit of fresh air – I’m back now…
Awards, that was it – so all our dreams came true, and this time the glass trophy stayed in one piece because Deej from the Coach (yes now at The Devonshire Tap, I know, I know,) wasn’t in attendance. Seriously though, it was a great great night and commiserations to all the other nominees. Especially Kayleigh. I do like Kayleigh, but don’t tell Leona.
Did somebody say cycling? Believe it or not it’s over 5 years since The Tour de France graced our doorstep, bringing the world to the streets and drinking establishments of Harrogate – boy what a weekend that was! Well it’s coming back next month with a bang. Apparently the UCI Championships are even bigger and better than Le Tour. It’s not going to be just a weekend this time – Rachel says it goes on for a whole nine days. Nine days of travel chaos, grown-ups in Lycra, whooping at folk whizzing past in helmets, eating, drinking, more eating, a bit more drinking, some more Lycra. Well I’m looking forward to it anyway…
How have I got so many words down without mentioning everybody’s favourite self publicist Simon Cotton? No, joking, not him, he doesn’t like being mentioned, he’s a bit shy (yeah right), so let’s talk about Clarkey instead. or more the Lack of Clarkey. No, don’t get too excited, he’s still here strutting about in his ridiculous shirts trying to look as professional as Dan, but there’s now a Clarkey-free zone on a Sunday night. What no quiz you all cry – how are we ever going to survive without our weekly trivia fix? Well at the beginning of Summer every year there’s a lot less people seem to be keen on sitting inside on a Sunday night listening to the gobby one on his microphone, so we thought we’d give you something a little different: live acoustic music. We’ve only had three or four so far, but it looks like the experiment is working – Sundays have a lovely Summery feel to them now. Might give me a bit of a dilemma when the weather turns back, maybe we’ll do alternative Quiz / Music Sundays. Maybe we’ll get Clarkey singing. If you want your say, let us know via the usual channels what you’d prefer to do on your Sunday nights. Personally, I’m all for the music.
Every drink has it’s day – the gin craze is still pretty much in full flow – but hang on what are all the orangey looking ones in wine glasses with stripey straws? Aperol Spritz, that’s what. Nope, you don’t have to be somewhere posh skiing to able to partake of these curious concoctions anymore. Most local pubs now stock it, and not only are we stocking it, but as usual at our end, they’re flying out because we make them better than everyone else. ***This is the opinion of one individual carnivorous mammal and not the company as a whole – therefore remains immune from legal challenge*** So much so that I reckon we’re doing them a bit cheap – stick a quid on an Aperol Spritz when you’re next in the office, Dan. Oh, he already has.
That’s about it from me – I do hope I haven’t managed to upset or offend anyone this time – but if I have, it’ll be the last time you’ll hear from me.
Till next time…
Mr Badger x